We are going to provide you with some tips we have gathered from our experience as a family law attorneys on how to make the best of the holidays for your children if you are divorced, separated or a part of a step-family.
Here are some ideas on how to make (or break) the holiday cheer for your children in your family:
Holiday Time-Sharing
Naughty: Make sure you let your child know how upset you are that they will be celebrating any part of the holiday without you. Examples of this naughty behavior are: “I will miss you so much on Christmas Eve; I am going to hate being all alone.” Or, “You have to go to your dad’s for part of Hanukkah so we won’t get to be together.” Or how about, “You won’t get to go to grandma’s over the holidays because the court ordered you to go to your mom’s.”
These messages convey to your child that they should feel guilty that they won’t be with you during this special time.
Nice: “You’re such a lucky child, you’re going to get to celebrate Christmas twice!” Or, “Your mother and I have come up with a plan so that you can see both of us and have two holidays with two families that love you very much and we’re all going to have a lot of fun!”
Ultimately, you want to consider what is in the best interest of your child. Negativity around what should be a happy and cheerful time will only cause stress for your child and for yourself. Keep in mind the memories you are associating with the holidays and how this will affect future holiday’s with your child.
Contact us at Hallier Stearns PLC for more information about divorce and child custody issues.